Single and Black – A Male Perspective, Part III

In the last installment of the series, “Single and Black — A Male Perspective,” Bleek shares some final thoughts. He also opens up about his hopes for the future and what he thinks about women.

“Single or Married?”

For younger men, getting married marks the beginning of family life and making a home for the wife and kids. When you are older and contemplating marriage, kids may not be part of the picture. For Bleek that leads to one specific question, is it necessary to be married after a certain age?

Bleek questions whether marriage necessitates companionship or love. “Where is the benefit of it all when you are older?” Bleek said. “You won’t get to do the things your younger self would have done.”

Nevertheless, as a man gets older, the greater his wish for companionship. Admittedly, Bleek does not want to be single.”I never want to be an amateur (be single),” Bleek replied. “I want to go pro (be married).” For him, marriage would eliminate the social stigma associated with being an old(er) single male.

But what about those confirmed bachelors, the men who never marry? Bleek chalks their lifestyles up to fear– either they are fearful of getting burned by a woman or they have already been burned and can’t move beyond that fear or pain.

“Quality of Women”

According to Bleek, what a man wants in a woman is similar, regardless of the age group. Most men want a woman who has her own ideas, a sense of self and brings something to the table.

There was one thing Bleek wanted me to know and share with my readers. “Rarely will a man, of any age group, say there are no good women. It’s the women, they are the ones that always say there are no good men.”

For the most part, he feels that women in their late 30s to 50s (whom would appeal to him as a partner) have their heads on straight. These women have established themselves and are less concerned with the material things. “They are beyond brand consciousness. They like nice things but they are able to buy them without looking for a man to do it.”

For black women in particular, Bleek suggested many have been burned by men and aren’t trusting. As a result, they remain single. But they also remain strong, independent and seem to make it own their own.

Ultimately, it wasn’t about the type, quality or even quantity of women. For Bleek, it is more about the issue of compatibility and equality in the relationship. “What I have, she has and vice versa.”

“Men and women are concentric circles,” he said. “Both spinning wheels, working toward the point of intersect.”


To read part one of this series, click here. Part two is available here.

Special thanks to Bleek for sharing this thoughts. To pose questions to Bleek, leave them in the section below any of the articles.


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