Am I Coming or Going?

*sighs deeply*

Tomorrow completes my move from the DMV back to NYC. So many acronyms, pfft. But this has been the longest.move.ever. Six months. I’m tired, mentally and physically.

I am starting to feel some anxiety. It’s the finality of it all, I suppose. In some way I am giving up my life (as I know it) and my freedom. Even though I’ve been couch surfing, I have had space to be me. Not sure if that will be the case when I return home.

Home. What a double-edged word.

I am grateful I have somewhere to go. Nothing like having a supportive family. They welcome me back with open arms. But lots has changed since I last lived at home, which was 1994.

I am older now. Much older.

I’ve lived most of my adult life very independently. I’m a grown woman with needs.

I feel like I am reverting, going back in time, becoming a kid again. That’s not cool.

 Coming home or going home– which is it?

 There is a difference. I just need to figure it out.

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